Kim Kardashian and other celebrities pledged to stay "digitally dead"—off Twitter and Facebook—until the Keep a Child Alive foundation raised a million dollars. But after two days, the foundation is still nowhere near that.
Keep a Child Alive's organizers figured that as soon as the anointed celebrities' millions of Twitter followers ponied up, the digitally addicted stars would be "back online and tweeting in no time." But they forgot that, with all the spokespeople banned from using social media, there was no way to remind their followers to donate money, and now two Kardashians, Lenny Kravitz, Alicia Keys, Justin Timberlake, and others are stuck in silent limbo. After an uneventful first day, Digital Death's coffers are stuck at $200,000 today, the end of day two.
When you're famous for having a surgically implanted donk, having your dad defend a guy who beheaded his wife, and letting black dudes pee on you on camera, I can see why the world wouldn't mind the fact that you stopped posting pictures of yourself on the Internet. Keep A Child Alive would make more money if they just took a dollar from every three-piece meal Kim Kardashian buys in a week. If that fails, they can always find a dwarf who can spin straw into gold, because that's more likely than anyone crying over her lack of @replies.
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